Is this a late Friday funny, or a very early one? Whatever. Because this is a limited time offer, there's no time to wait. Act now!
Yes folks, it slices, it dices. You set it, and forget it! How much would you pay for such a device? Don't answer yet! Use it to slice a tomato so thin, it only has one side. It's dishwasher safe, and even tells your children bedtime stories. And you guessed it, there's more. It responds to your requests, plays TV, makes calls, and can even double as a musical instrument. Slice onions. Use it as a hotplate. Paddle the canoe.
So how much would you pay for such a device? $799? $899? $999? Nooo.
Order now, and this amazing product can be yours for the low, low price of $499. Operators are standing by. Roll the tape: