Tongue in cheek of the week: CES 2013 summarized. Mark my words, history may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.

CES is always a great show; too bad for 2013, I couldn't go. But I've attended the show several times during the past few years, and I've learned that there are always similar themes and trends year after year. So, below I created a quick CES 2013 summary combining some guess work with my past trade show experience and some headlines I've scanned during the past few days. I hope this is fairly accurate, somewhat useful, and to the point.

Yup, CES Las Vegas: I've been there, done that, and I've had my fill, so I know the drill: There's loud crowds and loud music. There's personnel gawking and keynote talking. You had booth babes, you had to bring your shades. You give and you take, you take the giveaways. There is slight of hand, smoke and mirrors, under-the-table deals, and a few free meals.

There was probably NFC, RFID, BCI, and CGI. There was GPS, LED, and AT&T. There was quad core, dual core, dual band, dual screen, dual SIM, 3M, 3D, and 4G. You had multi-core, multi-threading, multi fashinoned, and multi-dimensional.

There was Intel inside, and there were big balloons outside. There was low-cost, Hi-Fi, high-tech, nanotech, restaurant checks, indoor maps, and power naps. There were flexible displays and firm handshakes. There were taxi receipts and company suites.

There was roulette, blackjack, slot machines, virtual machines, and coffee machines. There were iPhone cases & lots of aces. There was oxygen, helium, sodium, carbon, and probably some lithium. There were netbooks, networks, networking, tablets, phablets, kidlets, and booklets.

Devices were water proofed, moisture resistant, splash guarded, hard boiled, drop tested, and thief protected. There were tough phones, tough screens, tough tablets, tough love, and touch computing. There was Bluetooth, BlueAnt, Blu-ray.

There were connected cars, open bars, and probably some Swedish guy named Lars.
There were Snapdragons, snap decisions, and snap-to-it's.

There was a Z phone from Sony, an S phone from ZTE.

There were over-priced french fries and over-utilized WiFi. You had cloud computing, hotel commuting. There were smart homes, smartphones, smart watches, smart people, smart glasses, smart TV and of course, thieves like me. ROLL THE TAPE:

This great George Carlin piece doubles as a great CES summary: